New Year's always signifies a new start to me. I feel that the slate has been wiped clean, and I get to write another chapter of my life. As of late December, I had given up trying for our miracle baby as our insurance was changing due to the new laws and infertility was not going to be included. I thought we should just travel. I had planned a trip to Alaska, the Outer banks, Poconos, and Arkansas.
On New Year's Eve my husband stated that his New Year's resolution would be to save and raise money to afford IVF this year. With those words I knew he had chosen our miracle baby over my plans to travel.
That all changed when I looked at our new policy yesterday on January 1, and saw that infertility was still covered. We still had 2 more IUIs that could be used. Our next step didn't have to be saving and raising money for IVF. Or did it?
When we had initially talked about just saving for IVF this would mean we would be able to have a few months to ourselves. No doctor's visits, no needles, no drugs, no timed sex. We could go back to being the fun loving spontaneous couple we were before all this started. December was our first month of this new outlook and it felt amazing! We were the Roger and Jasmine that fell in love over 5 years ago again. Was that all going to change again, because we had two more cycles we could try?
So my New Year, with my new start has only been two days of confusion and questions. The biggest question is "Will 2014 be the year that I am willing to tell the world that we are infertile?".